Thursday, October 18, 2012

In The Turn



 Failure. What so when you realize you are inferior? No matter, no matter. Nothing works. You just stay down. But cannot accept. But stay down. Inferior. So what now?

              You see? the struggle? Do you see the struggle? You are a beast as you see you are. Everything crumbles before you or you expect it should. You cannot be pinned.You cannot be humbled. So untamed, wild, vagarious, with just one blow, you fall, you lay, motionless, baffled, bemused, bewildered. How? Your mind clouds up. Your thoughts in shambles. Your body slumber. Like a hardened earth when in rain, you give in. You give up. Then, you look for excuses. Conditions, context, environment, situation or atmosphere all become your excuse. As if everything has, in a strange turn of events, fell against you. How? yourself? Are you an excuse to yourself, your demise?


                    You see, I am different. Unlike you, I don't hold such disillusioned idea of myself. But I have a simple belief. I believe when nothing works, when I just stay down, cannot accept yet I am pinned, I believe I am still alive. I don't feel beaten. I maybe beaten but I don't feel it. I just don't feel it. 

PULSE: The Train

"Hey Jimmy, look out!", someone called from a distance. Before

Jimmy could figure out who had called him, he felt himself being smashed against something large which knocked him off his ground.

He fell onto the platform with a thud, dead.



"Hey Jimmy, look out!", someone called from a distance. Before
Jimmy could figure out who had called him, his attention to the light

around corner . As the light grew brighter and came closer, he realised it was the headlight of an MRT train. This can't be, he thought, this is not happening.What he saw had made his heart drop and turned his mind hollow. The train, yes, the train has come off its track ,adjusted itself on the shiny platform and now, moving at an unstopable velocity, towards him. Jimmy wanted to move away and go to a place somewhere safe where the train could not hit him. Jimmy wanted but not his body. His body had not accustomed itself to this critical situation.It merely sat on the bench as Jimmy looked on in horror and desperation. This is not happening, he thought, i must be dreaming, I better be. However, he started to lose faith in his thought. He wanted to wake up if he is dreaming, he wanted to wake up and say to himself, " see! that had been a dream. Just a dream!" But now he knew he was not dreaming. He knew he was fractions of second away from a deadly collision that seemed to come forever.


Jimmy's eyes had never left the shining yellow light on the left headlight of the train. His eye sockets stayed fixed on that light as it grew closer and brighter until at a point where it came so close that he could have sweared to himself if he had stayed alive that he had seen something that made his both eyebrows drew close to each other, not in fear, but in curiosity. He had seen, in the light, a narrow path which looked very faint to his focused vision, weaving its way down to something very far and quiet which looked like a twilight zone. On the either side of path, there were arid land that had a lot of cracks in it. It seemed rain had not poured there for decades. To Jimmy, the scenary reminded him of the drawings he used to see in his little brother's sketch book. He remembered number of sketches like the water lilies merely floating on the pond as the rain poured, an aeroplane strolling past the clear skies above an open field where some kids are flying kites, an empty road through a dense forest leading to nowhere and there was more. Nevertheless, what he was seeing in the light had a striking resemblance to the empty road drawing. Of course,there were a lot of differences between those two literally but yet it felt like to Jimmy that the deeper picture was identical. What he saw then was a path under a light red evening sky that concealed the sun unlike the one he saw in the drawing where the sky was dark blue.


The path was getting larger and Jimmy could see more details in it now.

He could make out tufts of grasses on those infertile lands. Soon, skulls of dead animals partially covered under the soft red sands began to appear. Then, he started to hear noises but he could not make out where it was coming from. No he knew,he felt, It was coming from there. He revealed to himself then that he was hearing gusty wind blowing passed.

Then, something struck him, something unexpected had struck him.

He could feel the the violent chinook tickling his face and fluttering his clothes. He suddenly realised he did not know where he was and thus, he tried to remember where he was a while ago. However, he could not recall. He looked back and instead of seeing the people sitting on the train station platform, he saw the same stretch of road that was in front of him. what is going on,he asked himself but there was no inner response.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

A Fable

" Para...para...paradise. Dream of para...para...paradise" hums away at a distant. Looking up to the night the sky, I see stars, not in plenty but present. Funny this Coldplay song. But so true. I just feel it.

I was born as history turns its page to a new chapter. Breaking away from the traditions, leaping into chase for modernity. I was a child as modernity gave birth to her first son, the internet. I still remember there was so much expectation on him. But boy, look what he had become. His mother can't be more proud. Well at least that is what we all thought. I was a teen when i finally had my first dream. The dream to be someone.

Oh I forgot. When I was just reaching my teen, something unfortunate happened. Well, that is what I thought. Technology came one quiet afternoon and took modernity away. With modernity under his clutch, technology had just obtained the greatest power of all. The ability control the most untamed beast. The Idea. Internet grew up in the era of technology. With his mother not there to protect him, technology had influenced the internet using the idea that his mother, modernity was hidden in a chamber called progress. So internet went to progress to find modernity. However, he could not find progress as he didn't know how to get there. So internet asked technology for help. Technology gave internet his idea. With that idea, internet knew exactly what to do.
To reach progress, internet has to walk the bridge of wealth, swim the river of lust, climb the mountain of greed, cut the tree of envy and build the tomb of pride. With that internet set out for the quest. During his quest, internet faced many obstacles but nothing has deterred him for he had slain them all. He threw morality off the bridge of wealth, drowned chastity in the river of lust, deserted content at the foot of mountain greed,soiled the forest of forgiveness to find the tree of envy and destroyed the land of humility to construct the tomb of pride. With that he arrived at progress. However, he could not find his mother, modernity. After a long search, he became frustrated and agitated. So, he destroyed the chamber of progress. And so, he never found his mother, Modernity. 

Monday, December 13, 2010

choice of rose

yes, its 911 how can I help u?

I dunno where to start ma'am. Its hysteric down here. Seems like hostage situation. Need your assistance immediately.

Address?
Phoenix avenue 5. 69th street.

Ok. Help is on the way. You are?
Shane. Bron Shane. I work here at the bakery just across the street.

You need to tell me what has happened?

I never knew how? But at the moment, its a school bus in which i can see students, probably from elementary school. There are screams all around me. People panicking.There is a man in the bus. He's veiled his face, holdin a rifle, if I am not wrong. an- OH MY GOD. SOMEONE IS SHOT SOMEONE IS SHOT. THERE IS BLOOD. I THINK ITS THE BUS DRIVER. I GOTTA GO.
(hangs up)

A frantic crowds gathered surrounding the yellow school bus, some murmuring with anxiety while others gasping in horror. Their stricken face tells the story. In the bus, a man resting his head on the steering wheel which was washed with blood that oozed out of his head. a clean shot! someone in the crowd babbled. There is only one of them in the bus who is in control. Every now and then, he would grab one of his young hostage by the collar and hold the kid against the window while pointing his rifle at the kiddo's head. Everytime that happens, the crowd outside yells desperately and fearfully to try prevent him from blowing off the kiddo.

The police arrived shortly. The tension is growing. It is almost unbearable for the parents who stand among the crowd helplessly, watching their loved ones locked in a bus. Seeing their dear ones stare through them in awed fascination, making them feel guilty for not doing anything.

Friday, December 10, 2010

warming up

You know if han dynasity never existed, i would have known how to start off this sentence with.
I am no pro. no analyst. no critic. no author. no shit you can assume me tryin' to be. i am what i am, trying what i want to be. I hold no boundary i am parallel to none. I gush out juicy passion. deliver it like a DHL.

writing is a fantastic thing. everyone should write. even if no clues.
no plot. no history. no fancy. no prose. no holds bar.
try impressing yourself.


after hours

drunk? cool.
wow.hey, wats up. lost?
dude! what?
yeah!
thats rite, punk!
damn, how come. we.hav.
spins nvm losers!
jus fkin spin.....
free flow! flowing slipper slapped like slammer...
rock bottom...wat??? haha i get it.
sizzle sizzle woooo! style now
sip in n' out. town.night.booze.hangover.
no control. emotion? please no.
high now jus too high now hahaha u sly. wat now.
opps its pumpin' like jus #$@#$.

dizzy?? its ok. we jus chilling.
worries?? nah!
past? forgotten.
future? redundant.
present? haha thats rite u noe wat i m talkin abt.
let the music. zick ek ek ek
twist muse amuse fuse ya!
dark!? u r probably out.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

supermarket

Our world, a supermarket.
Where we trade children,
for money's sake.
Where we sell women,
gamble a bet.
where we hack thousands trees,
to earn a little profit.
Where we dance all night,
n' kill brothers in a fight.
Where we break up,
just because enough is not enough.
Where corrupt ideas gets stuck up in our heads,
we say fuck them, they are driving us mad.

man, when we gonna wake up?
make amends to the nature we tore apart.

man, when we gonna learn?
and stop foolin' ourselves into thinking that this is all part of the fun.

man, when we find peace?
when our loved ones are swept away by breeze?

man, when we see hope?
when our lives feel so empty that we hang ourselves on a rope?

why does it always have to be?
that we keep locking ourselves in a prison of false sea.
Thinking that we found truth,
but actually we're struck by reality.

why can't just this be,
that we value chastity?

why can't just this be,
that we cry out fraternity,
over blind freedom
which is actually a shadow of boredom?

Our world, does not have to be a supermarket,
if we just to step out and try our best.